A Review of Spending 7 Nights at the Home of Gary and Gayle McKenzie
14 Camouflaged Snipers out of 24 Al Dente Fettuccini Noodles
Recently, Alissa was asked by the delightful couple Gary and Gayle McKenzie to house-sit for them while they were going on vacation with their darling children through the heart of Americana. Alissa, being the trained debutant that she is, curtsied and replied, “Why, my gracious, we’d be swept with the joy of a cool summer breeze to defend the honor of your homestead.” And while it is undoubtedly odd to hear a woman in the year 2009 speak in such a manner, she did it anyways, and the McKenzie’s, stunned, finally deciphered that she was accepting.
When told that we’d be living at another home for the better part of a week, my initial reaction was confusion, because I’m an American male who likes my life the same way I like my Jeopardy: consistently hosted by a smug-but-caring man in a tailored Perry Ellis suit from K-Mart who shows up on my picture box at 4:30PM with militant accuracy. Needless to say, this change brought with it more shake up than the Vietcong on a hot night in Puyang. “What do we do with our dog? Will he get along with their animals? Don’t they have horses? Don’t they have a chicken?? I’ve never taken care of a pool, how do we do that? What if squatters move into our home while we are away, thinking our home has been forclosed like 95% of the homes in our neighborhood?” Clearly, I kind of freak out about this stuff. Fortunately for me, Alissa is as cool as the other side of the pillow; she swooped in like Barack Obama with a reassuring, “We got this. Chill.” (Swoon).
So we loaded up the cars like the Beverly Hillbillies and drove out to glorious Circle G Ranch in Tempe. Living in Laveen, we are not accustomed to the comforts of the East Valley. Restaurants besides Applebee’s and Little Caesar’s! Outrageous! Our gym was within 5 minutes of their house. Work was only 10 minutes away for Alissa and only 20 for myself. Because I got into work 25 minutes earlier than normal all week my boss now thinks I’m a “go-getter with lots of promise.” We’d utter dangerous questions we’d never say in Laveen like, “Do you want to go out for dinner?” and, “Sure it’s 9PM, but let’s go to the gym for a while?” Insanity I tell you! We bathed in the rich freedom of choice like Violet Beauregarde in Willy Wonka’s factory.
Sure there were downsides. I got to sleep on a very cold waterbed for a week. I would then be greeted at 6AM each morning by the brightest light the sun has ever produced in its 10 billion year existence since their bedroom has no curtains or blinds of any kind. I was stalked oddly by the chicken whenever I’d have to feed him, which doesn’t sound frightening until you try it out. They are decedents of the dinosaurs after all. But there were plenty of positives too. I went swimming at 6:30AM because I could. I played 10 games of pool because the pool table was there and very lonely. I watched the new Terrell Owens show on VH1 because I felt free to be a new man sitting on someone else’s couch.
And as we packed up last night and made the trek back to our house in Laveen I realized something that I hadn’t really noticed the magnitude of before: We live really far away from everything we know.
13 Unicorns out of 12 Popsicles (the good kind, like Bomb Pops)
It’s true that Mos Def appears as the #69 item in the “Stuff White People Like” list. It’s also true that I am white. Despite my firm belief in the principles of the transitive property of math, I would like to claim that my love of Mos Def is strictly based on Hip-Hop merit. He does not epitomize Brooklyn in my eyes, his acting projects have not been on my radar, and I felt his work on Chappelle’s Show was moderate and far overshadowed by almost everyone else in the scene. However, when it comes to hip-hop, Mos is in the pantheon of great MCs.
(As a side note, Item #1 on Stuff White People Like should read “Legitimizing their beliefs as wholly unique in the midst of accusations of herd mentality”.)
It has been a while since Mos Def gave it his all on an album. 1999 brought us his first solo album “Black on Both Sides” which is in my top 10 albums of all time. There is nothing I can say about that album that hasn’t been said a million times by everyone else. It’s tremendous. In ’04, Mos released “The New Danger” with his band Black Jack Johnson. The rock-blues-soul-hip-hop infusion was a solid effort; however, it was difficult to define that album as hip-hop, much like Andre 3000′s “The Love Below”. Despite that, Mos put his all into the album; you feel the creative effort exude from each track. He was there in every way.
Unfortunately, that was the last we’ve seen of the real Mos Def, in album form, since. Dante Smith (Mos’ real name), has been busy with film, fashion, and cultural awareness. But, in terms of hip-hop, Mos has left the building. 2006 brought us one of the first passive-resistance albums in “True Magic”, a gentle “fuck you” album directed to the heads of Geffen Records who would not let Mos out of a very restrictive and financially unbalanced contract. So Mos phoned it in, releasing what sounded like a very raw demo tape, chalked full of nonsensical rhymes and chopping-floor beats.
But we all knew he’d be back. He kept saying, “Just wait, it’s on its way.” I saw him do “Be Kind, Rewind” and I thought, “Gimme an album first, you bastard!” And then June 9th came with a beautiful gift in the form of Mos Def’s 4th album “The Ecstatic”. And what an album it is. Mos takes us international, piecing beats from India, Latin America, the Middle-East, alongside American influences of Jazz, Blues, and raw hip-hop. The album is a journey in every sense; laid out like an eclectic jam session with global talent. And don’t get me started on the Slick Rick cameo on “Auditorium”…I jumped out of my seat when I heard him come on the track like a god damned lightning bolt.
All in all, I highly recommend this album. I’m not interested in rankings, as it’s not really anyone’s place to judge anything, but I will say it’s a complex, diverse, and entertaining record worth checking out.
-DS
7/23/09
Intent:
I’d like to review ramble about things I’ve recently enjoyed. Be it movies, albums, books, food, etc. I’ll let you know when I come across something awesome.
“Reviews”
A Review of Spending 7 Nights at the Home of Gary and Gayle McKenzie
14 Camouflaged Snipers out of 24 Al Dente Fettuccini Noodles
Recently, Alissa was asked by the delightful couple Gary and Gayle McKenzie to house-sit for them while they were going on vacation with their darling children through the heart of Americana. Alissa, being the trained debutant that she is, curtsied and replied, “Why, my gracious, we’d be swept with the joy of a cool summer breeze to defend the honor of your homestead.” And while it is undoubtedly odd to hear a woman in the year 2009 speak in such a manner, she did it anyways, and the McKenzie’s, stunned, finally deciphered that she was accepting.
When told that we’d be living at another home for the better part of a week, my initial reaction was confusion, because I’m an American male who likes my life the same way I like my Jeopardy: consistently hosted by a smug-but-caring man in a tailored Perry Ellis suit from K-Mart who shows up on my picture box at 4:30PM with militant accuracy. Needless to say, this change brought with it more shake up than the Vietcong on a hot night in Puyang. “What do we do with our dog? Will he get along with their animals? Don’t they have horses? Don’t they have a chicken?? I’ve never taken care of a pool, how do we do that? What if squatters move into our home while we are away, thinking our home has been forclosed like 95% of the homes in our neighborhood?” Clearly, I kind of freak out about this stuff. Fortunately for me, Alissa is as cool as the other side of the pillow; she swooped in like Barack Obama with a reassuring, “We got this. Chill.” (Swoon).
So we loaded up the cars like the Beverly Hillbillies and drove out to glorious Circle G Ranch in Tempe. Living in Laveen, we are not accustomed to the comforts of the East Valley. Restaurants besides Applebee’s and Little Caesar’s! Outrageous! Our gym was within 5 minutes of their house. Work was only 10 minutes away for Alissa and only 20 for myself. Because I got into work 25 minutes earlier than normal all week my boss now thinks I’m a “go-getter with lots of promise.” We’d utter dangerous questions we’d never say in Laveen like, “Do you want to go out for dinner?” and, “Sure it’s 9PM, but let’s go to the gym for a while?” Insanity I tell you! We bathed in the rich freedom of choice like Violet Beauregarde in Willy Wonka’s factory.
Sure there were downsides. I got to sleep on a very cold waterbed for a week. I would then be greeted at 6AM each morning by the brightest light the sun has ever produced in its 10 billion year existence since their bedroom has no curtains or blinds of any kind. I was stalked oddly by the chicken whenever I’d have to feed him, which doesn’t sound frightening until you try it out. They are decedents of the dinosaurs after all. But there were plenty of positives too. I went swimming at 6:30AM because I could. I played 10 games of pool because the pool table was there and very lonely. I watched the new Terrell Owens show on VH1 because I felt free to be a new man sitting on someone else’s couch.
And as we packed up last night and made the trek back to our house in Laveen I realized something that I hadn’t really noticed the magnitude of before: We live really far away from everything we know.
-DS
7/30/09
____________________________________
Mos Def – The Ecstatic
13 Unicorns out of 12 Popsicles (the good kind, like Bomb Pops)
It’s true that Mos Def appears as the #69 item in the “Stuff White People Like” list. It’s also true that I am white. Despite my firm belief in the principles of the transitive property of math, I would like to claim that my love of Mos Def is strictly based on Hip-Hop merit. He does not epitomize Brooklyn in my eyes, his acting projects have not been on my radar, and I felt his work on Chappelle’s Show was moderate and far overshadowed by almost everyone else in the scene. However, when it comes to hip-hop, Mos is in the pantheon of great MCs.
(As a side note, Item #1 on Stuff White People Like should read “Legitimizing their beliefs as wholly unique in the midst of accusations of herd mentality”.)
It has been a while since Mos Def gave it his all on an album. 1999 brought us his first solo album “Black on Both Sides” which is in my top 10 albums of all time. There is nothing I can say about that album that hasn’t been said a million times by everyone else. It’s tremendous. In ’04, Mos released “The New Danger” with his band Black Jack Johnson. The rock-blues-soul-hip-hop infusion was a solid effort; however, it was difficult to define that album as hip-hop, much like Andre 3000′s “The Love Below”. Despite that, Mos put his all into the album; you feel the creative effort exude from each track. He was there in every way.
Unfortunately, that was the last we’ve seen of the real Mos Def, in album form, since. Dante Smith (Mos’ real name), has been busy with film, fashion, and cultural awareness. But, in terms of hip-hop, Mos has left the building. 2006 brought us one of the first passive-resistance albums in “True Magic”, a gentle “fuck you” album directed to the heads of Geffen Records who would not let Mos out of a very restrictive and financially unbalanced contract. So Mos phoned it in, releasing what sounded like a very raw demo tape, chalked full of nonsensical rhymes and chopping-floor beats.
But we all knew he’d be back. He kept saying, “Just wait, it’s on its way.” I saw him do “Be Kind, Rewind” and I thought, “Gimme an album first, you bastard!” And then June 9th came with a beautiful gift in the form of Mos Def’s 4th album “The Ecstatic”. And what an album it is. Mos takes us international, piecing beats from India, Latin America, the Middle-East, alongside American influences of Jazz, Blues, and raw hip-hop. The album is a journey in every sense; laid out like an eclectic jam session with global talent. And don’t get me started on the Slick Rick cameo on “Auditorium”…I jumped out of my seat when I heard him come on the track like a god damned lightning bolt.
All in all, I highly recommend this album. I’m not interested in rankings, as it’s not really anyone’s place to judge anything, but I will say it’s a complex, diverse, and entertaining record worth checking out.
-DS
7/23/09
Intent:
I’d like to
reviewramble about things I’ve recently enjoyed. Be it movies, albums, books, food, etc. I’ll let you know when I come across something awesome.